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▶ Miki's Journal Page
This is where Miki's web logs are posted. I mostly just write about my interests and any random thoughts I have rattling around in my head that I want to shake out into the void of the World Wide Web. I really appreciate anyone who decides to give my logs a read.
clavis plush! and more
2024/06/14
After all these years I finally got the Clavis plush...
I bought him secondhand of course, and I was worried he might have things wrong with him because of that and his presumed age. The only thing I notice is that his eyes have become a bit yellowed. I wonder if there's any way to fix that...
I don't know why it took me this long to buy him. I have been wondering for a while just how old this line of Angelique plushes are. Even if I search online I couldn't find any info on their release date. But now that I have Clavis I can look at his tag. It says 1998, which I think is as close as I'll get to knowing. I thought he could possibly be even older than that because the outfits all the plushes are wearing are their outfits they only wear in the first game, so they could have potentially been as old as 1994 or 1995. Now my Clavis plush and my Leos plushes can be friends :)
I also bought 3 game guides for Angelique Trois. One of them still has the original obi on it! (idk what you'd call it in english)
I don't know why this one singular game needs 3 whole game guides. Koei.......
I'm actually a fake Angelique fan. I still haven't played Trois or Etoile yet. It's actually pretty sad for me as a Clavis fan. The game before Trois, Tenkuu no Requiem, is the last Angelique game that Clavis is voice acted by Shiozawa Kaneto... Of course I really like Tanaka Hideyuki as well... But... Shiozawa..... Trois is the first game in the series that Tanaka has replaced him.
I'm actually a fake Angelique fan. I still haven't played Trois or Etoile yet. It's actually pretty sad for me as a Clavis fan. The game before Trois, Tenkuu no Requiem, is the last Angelique game that Clavis is voice acted by Shiozawa Kaneto... Of course I really like Tanaka Hideyuki as well... But... Shiozawa..... Trois is the first game in the series that Tanaka has replaced him.
I will definitely get to playing Trois eventually. Especially as I've now bought 3 dang game guides for it. But also a reason I haven't played it yet is just because I have been so focused on my favourite vtubers. Once I find another fixation it can be so hard to return to a previous one even for just a little bit. I honestly hope that my Neoromance fixation will return again soon. I don't really want my vtuber fixation to go away just yet either though. It would be so cool if I could just choose what I was really into at any given time.
Anyway look at Leos being cute with cute mascot plushes.
fixations, bad games, and more leos
2024/05/15
It's quickly approaching the 4 year anniversary since vtubers became my current fixation and so far still no signs of that changing. The primary vtuber I am obsessed with has changed in that time but the vtuber part has not. Throughout all my life I tend to get intense interests that last somewhere around 1 year to like 3 or 4 (part of my possible undiagnosed autism). Some of those interests come back eventually but a lot of them don't. Maybe anime could be considered one of them? But honestly probably not. It's too board and I don't think I've ever been like properly obsessed with it. The main fixation I have that always comes back is otome games. Like right now I am neglecting otome games a lot because of how focused I am on my favourite vtubers, but it will surely come back again. Otome games are my favourite genre of anything out there.
Speaking of vtubers... I am SO sick of people streaming shovelware horror games. Like can everyone just never stream those trash games again so they stop making them? Honestly I don't get why streaming those kinds of games is popular those games are just really boring with 0 care put into their development. Leos streamed one recently that actually made me angry to watch with how much of a shameless low-effort cashgrab it is... It's that new 3D Ao Oni game. I genuinely think Garten of banban is better than that game.
It even angered Leos with how bad it was, haha. If anyone reading this is unaware, from what I've seen I think it is generally bad manners for JP vtubers to criticise the games they stream. Maybe that's just the corpo vtubers though, I don't really watch indie Vs much at all. I assume it's because the games' devs graciously gave them permission to use their game/s as content, and/or it would make fans of the game sad? Or something like that. But that Ao Oni game managed to make Leos angry enough that he couldn't hold himself back, hahaha. Maybe I don't watch other Vs apart from my oshi enough but the only other corpo vtuber I've heard speak badly of a game they're streaming is Kenmochi.
Anyway here's a picture of my oshi Leos when he was a back dancer for one of the song performances from Fuwa Minato's recent 3D live. His live was very fun I recommend it.
Look at his sexy pose, he is so silly hehe.
After the live during Fuwa's reflection stream he complimented Leos by saying that during the song Leos was wonderfully gross ^^. I'm grateful to Fuwa for thinking of Leos when he was inviting livers to be there on his big day.
Look at his sexy pose, he is so silly hehe.
After the live during Fuwa's reflection stream he complimented Leos by saying that during the song Leos was wonderfully gross ^^. I'm grateful to Fuwa for thinking of Leos when he was inviting livers to be there on his big day.
big leos news
2024/04/27
My oshi Leos Vincent is gonna be on TV! omg!!!!!!!!!
He's going to be a regular on this TV show, so it won't be just the once. He'll be on TV every week! I'm so happy for him. He likes variety shows which this show is, so I think it's so cool that he's gotten to be a regular on one. I'm so excited to watch the first episode he's going to appear on.
I did freak out a bit at the beginning though... I thought 'how am I going to watch a Japanese television show?!' But after a good few hours of trying different things, I was able to figure out how! I was so terribly relieved. I would've been so so so upset if I was totally unable to watch something so important for him. Sometimes being an international fan is so hard. I'm really jealous of all his fans who live in Japan... But this time it was okay! So that's good! Unless the method I used suddenly stops working next week, haha... I don't even want to think about that possibility though.
I doubt there are any fellow fans of him who read my journals here, but if anyone is struggling with how to watch it send me an email I will gladly help.
I doubt there are any fellow fans of him who read my journals here, but if anyone is struggling with how to watch it send me an email I will gladly help.
Also I hadn't mentioned it yet, but he also became a gacha game character again recently. This is actually not even the first time he's become a gacha game character. He became one in a poker gacha game before. I never bothered to play that game though since I have 0 interest in playing poker. But this time it's a rhythm game which is way more up my alley.
The game is called Sengoku A LIVE.
The game is called Sengoku A LIVE.
Miraculously I was able to get both of his SSRs from the gacha on just my free rolls that I had saved up since the collaboration's announcement. My gacha luck is usually incredibly awful so I was so thankful. When the gacha that he's in was first added, I didn't properly look at the news or everything that's included in the gacha before I started rolling, and didn't realise that there were actually two Leos SSRs and not just one. I rolled just one of his SSRs on the last 10 roll I had been able to save up for at the start and celebrated early and then quickly realised after checking twitter that there were actually two of them and despaired lol. I successfully got his other SSR on the next 10 roll I managed to save up for. I'm so relieved I got him from just free rolls because I do NOT have the money to spend on a gacha game right now.
Look at my Leos cards! I actually rolled two of each of his SSRs! Somehow the desire sensor actually worked in my favour it's crazy.
Also look here's the artwork for his SSRs! So cool! :D
Leos is having so many cool opportunities lately I'm really happy for him. But it's also making him busier. He's a busy boy in a lot of demand. Which means he hasn't been able to stream as much lately, which makes me a bit lonely. But I'm sure he's thrilled about all these cool opportunities and it's a great thing for him, so whatever. Congratulations on getting on television, Leos!!!!!!!!!
devilman
2024/04/23
So I was gone from this website for a little while again and during that time I got really into Devilman of all things.
My oshi Leos decided to do a watchalong stream of the 2004 Devilman film adaptation a little while ago. That film is apparently well-known for being kinda bad and it seems everyone hated it at release because of how hyped up it was before it hit cinemas. Leos felt like watching a bad movie so he watched Devilman together with us. It was not quite as bad as rumoured, it was like bad and dumb and cheesy in a sorta fun kinda way (when watched with others, probably not as fun by yourself).
After watching the film he talked a bit about Devilman afterwards, and it got me a bit curious so I decided to check out the original 1972 manga. It is very charming and I liked it quite a lot. What got me obsessed though is I ended up liking one of the characters in specific, Asuka Ryo, quite a lot. I love Ryo... I started reading the original manga on a whim and because of Ryo before I knew it I was reading every other Devilman and Devilman related manga that he or some alternate form of him was in. I'm not usually much a fan of shounen manga/anime but Devilman and Ryo particularly have secured a special place in my heart...
I recall watching the more recent Devilman Crybaby anime years ago now and I remember liking it, but it didn't make me go crazy about it like reading the original manga has... I wonder why. I have a poor memory and can hardly remember what happened in Crybaby and how much it differs from the manga so maybe I will rewatch it some time. After reading the manga and watching some of the old Devilman OVAs now I kinda hate Crybaby's character design though so I might not. Why the heck did they have to give Ryo an ugly haircut and make Akira just ugly in general in it? Also I love Murase ayumu as much as the next seiyuu fan but I really prefer Ryo having a deeper more manly voice like he does in the old OVAs... Also I'm just mad they made Akira ugly!! he's so cutesy in the original manga!!! why make him ugly!!!!!! why make him look like cleft boy chin wonder!!!!!!! He looks so cute in the tanjou-hen OVA and his full-size character design in the Nagai Go CB Chara anime is really sexy... Forevermore I will have a bone to pick with the Crybaby character design.
Also I'm sorta slowly reading through the Devilman Lady manga and woman Ryo (Ran) and woman Akira (Jun) are so gay. Very cool.
Here's a random cute picture of my oshi. He's so cute, I love him.
oops i only talked about vtubers again
2024/03/14
It was my oshi Leos's birthday a few days ago! Happy birthday Leos. He is (still) 29. Although legally 32 now, haha. Not getting older physically anymore but the law doesn't care about that.
I really want to get good enough in some sort of creative skill to make something cool to celebrate my oshi's birthdays some day... But then I waste my time away consuming passive entertainment that doesn't go towards any skill. Some day I swear I will get better at drawing, at pixel-art, or maybe even learn to sew. I love seeing all the different ways some otaku celebrate their oshi's birthdays. The most common one being digital art, but I see lots of other ways too. Traditional paintings, sewing and knitting stuff, baking cute cakes themed around them, making videos like otoMADs.
In other news there's more Nijisanji livers debuting. A group of three men. I miss the mixed gender debut groups. The last debut group was 2 girls and 1 boy and I thought that was a lovely return to form, but I see it isn't lasting. If I want to watch a vtuber group with the boys and girls being segregated I'll just watch Hololive and/or Holostars. I know once it's been a bit since they've debuted and they start collabing with others outside their genmates it's not like they're segregated but still like often genmates are treated as something special... I like Edengumi which Leos is a part of, it's literally a reverse harem with Patachi (Lain Paterson) surrounded by 3 boys (formerly 4 but things happened). Patachi and the boys are all so cute together she is the all important flower of the group. It would be boring for me if it were just the guys.
Also like a big complaint I have with all the recent debuts in Nijisanji is like why are all of them all so young?? What happened to livers debuting in their mid to late twenties? I am going to put on my tinfoil hat for a secound but like, is anycolor not allowing older people to debut anymore? It feels like they just aren't letting old people in now. I mean late twenties isn't actually old in the real world, but for vtubers late twenties and thirties they are practically senior citizens. What if I like the senior citizens, anycolor? The very last debuts who aren't in their early twenties are Edengumi!! From 2021!!! I'd understand if a majority of the new debuts don't want to be old, but literally all of them? I smell foul play here. Leos, Oliver, and Patachi truly the last Nijisanji livers to debut who are mid twenties and above. Also I think a lot if not all of these new debuts are the not-aging types so those guys never getting old either. My oshi Gaku debuted when he was 19 so he was a young debut as well, but he's been around a long time now and he's 24 now technically in his mid twenties. But I guess these new guys are never gonna grow older like him.
I went on a little rant there but it's just because I care. The Nijisanji I originally came to love is changing in a way I don't like and it makes me feel sad. I guess it doesn't matter that much if new debuts aren't to my liking since I already have two oshi I love who hopefully are not going anywhere. Miss u Mayuzumi.
Oops this entry is all about vtubers. I always hardly have any other thoughts in my head besides whatever my current obsession is, sorry.
boy idol groups
2024/03/05
I found a really cute hat in a secondhand shop. I assume it was originally for a porcelain doll as the shop also had a lot of those. Such a good find, it fits him perfectly :)
Has the "Your Feed" on the home page for Neocities stopped showing when websites you follow have followed other websites, or been followed by others? I miss that. It was how I mainly found cool new websites. I guess I'll have to find new websites the old fashioned way now or something I guess.
Recently I went down a bit of a rabbit hole listening to songs from a bunch of different idol boy groups. The catalyst of me choosing to do so is a K-pop virtual boy group called Plave. I think Plave is super cool. All the members look great. Their music videos are absolutely beautiful. I really want to like them, but... I don't really like any of their songs.
I've never really been one to ever listen to any real life idol group music, regardless if it's K-pop, J-pop, or even western boy bands. I never had an interest before. I don't really think of myself as someone who is picky about the music they listen to though. So honestly I thought it strange that I don't enjoy any of Plave's songs. I started to get curious if I'd like the music from other real life boy idol groups. So I went on a quest listening to songs from various popular groups I remember hearing about before.
In the end I hardly found any songs I liked from any modern groups. I like SixTONES's KOKKARA but that's it really. I tried to keep an open mind. It's not like I have anything against boy idol groups. Hmm.... I guess something about the trendy sound for the boy groups isn't for me.
There is one not modern group that I like a bunch of their songs though. SMAP. I understand a bit why they were so popular. Their songs are bangers. And they all seem so charming from the live performances that are up on youtube. I wonder if other groups from the 90s had similiar music though because I didn't really check out any other groups from then. I checked out a few from the 80s though. None of the songs from those groups really grabbed me.
But anyway forget about that it's my oshi Leos Vincent's birthday in a few days!!!! So excited. Happy birthday boy soon..... He's going to be 29 (again)! but legally he'll be 32 because the law doesn't recognise that he doesn't age. Some day I'll get good enough at some sort of creative craft and make something cool to celebrate his birthday.....
i'm alive
2024/02/18
hi.
I haven't updated this website in a long time, but I am well. Been a bit busy. I visited Japan again December last year. Stayed for way longer than I did the first time I visited Japan. It was nice. Really missing cheap and delicious gyuudon right now.
I still love my vtuber oshi Leos and Gaku. To be honest most of the money I spent in Japan was buying secondhand merch of them I would hunt down in Secondhand stores. I know it's better to buy merch new rather than secondhand because secondhand doesn't support them, but also I absolutely refuse to buy any random merch like random badges. I hate that business model and I ain't supporting that. All those secondhand stores in Ikebukuro that had "we have Nijisanji goods here!" signs outside your business, I was successfully reeled in. I was actually in Japan for New Years, so I got to do Hatsumoude. That was pretty cool.
Having oshi vtubers is so much fun. I feel like I have something to look forward to every day. They are always giving me things to look forward to. I love them. I want to do oshikatsu more it seems like fun. But let alone fellow otaku friends, I don't even have any normal local friends I can go out places with. Where do people even find local otaku friends anyway.... Just wanna go to cute cafes and the like with someone/some people and take pictures of our oshi goods there together. Oh wouldn't that be nice...
sorry its vtubers again
2023/03/04
I got some silly little men in the post.
I also got Gaku's Focus On single too among other things. I really like Nijisanji's Focus On singles. Leos already got one a little while ago and I really like both of the songs on it. Around the release of Leos's I saw a Leos fan say that the singles reminds them of anime character song singles and albums from the 00s and early 10s and I really agree with that sentiment. Except instead of anime characters singing the songs, it's silly virtual streamer people. I remember listening to so many different anime character songs when I was younger. It's so nostalgic. I like both of the songs on Gaku's, but I definitely like Eikyuu Finder the most. JUNKS FLOWER is okay, but I am listening to Eikyuu Finder on repeat. I looked it up and if I remember right, the producer of the song has done one or more songs for Idolmaster Side M. So Gaku is pretty much a Side M boy now (it doesn't work like that).
It's been ages now so I can't properly remember, but I think one or both of the songs on Leos's Focus On had done Side M songs too? Don't quote me on that though. But I just feel like Side M suits Leos so much... I mean I guess it suits any of the guys who joined Nijisanji or any other popular vtuber group in their late 20s or older. Making such a big change in your life and becoming an entertainer and/or idol at an age when lots of other folks have settled down already. I like it. I love watching ojisans living the dream. I don't know too well about the other ojisans, but it's pretty evident that joining Nijisanji really turned Leos's life around. Makes me happy watching him being successful. He's really doing his best...
The me of many years ago looked upon people being all parasocial with celebrities and internet content creators and thought wow that's crazy I would never be like that towards real people I love my fictional characters and that's it.
But look at what I have become... I mean vtubers are still partially fictional but they're definitely partially real too... I try not to be delusional though so I think I'm good (probably).
But look at what I have become... I mean vtubers are still partially fictional but they're definitely partially real too... I try not to be delusional though so I think I'm good (probably).
idk
2023/02/26
What the heck it's been so long.
I haven't just totally forgot about this website while I was wasn't updating. I did think about it decently often and how I want to get to updating it, but I just can never find the energy. It's so easy to just enjoy passive hobbies instead... The only non-passive thing I've really done at all in my free time was English subtitle some clips of one of my favourite vtubers, but even that stopped for a few months. Doing things is hard.
Still a big fan of vtubers. It's been like 2 and a half years since I first became really into them. I can be pretty fickle with my interests and sometimes they don't last that long even if it was something I was super into. Still think of how if it weren't for Mayuzumi my interest in them probably would have only lasted like a few months, if even that. Thank you Mayuzumi.
I'm still mostly only into watching JP vtubers, particularly Nijisanji. I don't watch EN vtubers much. Nijisanji EN sucks and I wish they would stay away from the original branch. Since I have been away from updating this website, Holostars EN started, and I've actually been watching them a bit though. They aren't bad. If anyone reading this is inclined to check out English speaking men vtubers I would recommend them. I particularly like Vesper and Bettel. Vesper is a silly 28 year old man who is totally not actually 14 years older than that. And bettel is just a silly clown man. As far as I've seen they're all nice. Vesper said he's going to stream Dwarf Fortress (the release with the fancy graphics) really looking forward to that. Been wanting to watch someone play it.
I'm still mostly only into watching JP vtubers, particularly Nijisanji. I don't watch EN vtubers much. Nijisanji EN sucks and I wish they would stay away from the original branch. Since I have been away from updating this website, Holostars EN started, and I've actually been watching them a bit though. They aren't bad. If anyone reading this is inclined to check out English speaking men vtubers I would recommend them. I particularly like Vesper and Bettel. Vesper is a silly 28 year old man who is totally not actually 14 years older than that. And bettel is just a silly clown man. As far as I've seen they're all nice. Vesper said he's going to stream Dwarf Fortress (the release with the fancy graphics) really looking forward to that. Been wanting to watch someone play it.
Really tired out by real life. I won't say specifics because I hate talking about my life. But it sucks. I'm tired. I'm really tired even though I've hardly been doing anything. I wish my brain wasn't like this. I feel so mentally and socially exhausted from the smallest things. I want to be able to do more but I feel like I'll go crazy from the stress and anxiety if I do. Really doesn't feel worth it a lot.
But anyway I love my favourite vtubers Leos and Gaku. I look back upon the days when I would hear people having parasocial relationships with online creators and I thought 'haha wack, I would never.' And look at me now. I mean though the attachment I have towards them is I feel a bit different than a non-virtual creator... Maybe... Anyway the more I learn about Leos the funnier it is to me that there are cute little plush toys of him and that lots of cute girls and people treat them as their precious little babygirl. He is just such a dude. Such a man. A really dry guy at that. It's kinda amusing. Doesn't stop me from also treating my little Leos plush as my little babygirl as well though. He is streaming Kirby wii Deluxe as I write this. Is there anything better than watching a cute person play a cute game?
look at my bbygirl
dragon quest
date: 2022/07/26
I started playing the Dragon Quest series recently.
Around 2 weeks ago, maybe even 3 now, my oshi Leos started streaming Dragon Quest 5. Watching him play it made me feel like playing a good old fashion turn-based retro RPG for the first time in ages. Since I didn't really have anything else in mind, and Dragon Quest 5 was very neat to watch, I decided to start playing the series myself.
I've already finished playing 1 and 2, and I'm currently playing through 3. I played through the SNES port of 1 and 2. Kinda glad that I played the SNES port instead of the original. When I was close to clearing 2 I was looking up stuff and happened to see that the world map item in the game was actually added in the port and wasn't in the original. I relied so heavily on that map when going from between different continents and islands on the boat. I would have been so lost without it, haha.
Click this text to read the rest of the entry.
Playing through all the games from the start is really interesting because I get to see how the series evolved as the new titles were released. I mean maybe it's a bit different since I'm playing the SNES versions though. Like in the first game you don't have any companions with you, it's just the hero by himself. It was in the 2nd game that you get a party. Also the progression of the story in the games is neat. In the 1st game there was like hardly any story at all. It was just "go defeat the evil dragon lord and save the people." And that was it. It was quite a stark difference between what I had seen so far in Leos' playthrough of 5. The 2nd game had a bit more in the way of story but not that much. And so far at least, the 3rd game has a bit more too. I really like that in 3 you can actually pick whether you want the hero to be a boy or a girl. I wasn't aware there were any games in the series that let you play as a girl. I wonder if there's any others besides just 3. I hope so.
I chose to play 1 and 2 in English because I was feeling too lazy to read Japanese and since I decided to play the games totally on a whim I honestly didn't think I would get very far at all. But I'm playing 3 in Japanese. I saw that apparently the translation patch of the SNES version of 3 is pretty full of bugs. I looked into the Switch release from 2019 but honestly it looks kinda ugly compared to the SNES version. I don't know why they would choose to make it look worse than the past. 3's graphics on the SNES are actually so pretty. 1 and 2 I'd say the graphics were fine. Serviceable. But 3 is sooo pretty. The opening scene when you first start a new game and talk to God and God makes you take a fun little personality quiz, the visuals there are absolutely gorgeous. By the way I took that personality quiz 3 times. I got the "selfish" personality twice, and then the "vain" personality... God is so harsh. I stuck with vain because it gives better stat boosts but, damn...
I'll probably write again about Dragon Quest as I play more. It's been so many years since I've been able to maintain my focus on video games that aren't an otome game, or ffxiv. It's very satisfying.
first post on the new journal page
date: 2022/07/24
I finally did it. The overhaul I've been working on at a snail's pace for months. I was so tired of the old look of the website, and I felt like it didn't really suit me anymore. Maybe now that I'm happier with the visual theme of the website I'll update it more often. Hopefully. Maybe. Haha.
A lot has happened since my last entry. Like... My first favourite vtuber is ceasing his activities (aka retiring) at the end of this month. Which is very soon now. It was announced at the beginning of this month, but I still don't really know how to feel about it. In complete honesty, I haven't been watching him very much for a while. Likely due to my usual tendency lose interest in obsessions of mine after a while, and probably also just because since around mid 2021 he's been going in a direction with his content that I'm not quite as much of a fan of.
Click this text to read the rest of the entry.
I feel as if I should be more upset. But ultimately since I haven't been watching him much anyway, there won't be much change for me. I am sad that he'll be gone. But probably not the kind of upset that I would have been at the height of my fixation I had with him. It's so strange to think that he'll be gone though. Even though I hadn't been actively watching him, I've really taken his continued presence for granted. I had been a casual vtuber watcher since before I discovered him, but it wasn't until him that I became an avid watcher. He taught me what is in my personal opinion, the true appeal, and the true capability of virtual entertainers. He completely changed the way I look at them. The figure in the graphic for my vtuber page is modeled after him. I made it before his retirement announcement, and I'm absolutely never changing it to anyone other than him. He's too important of an existence to me.
I have to acknowledge that he is definitely not the first to do the kind of things that he'd done. But he probably took it to the most grand of a scale than anyone else I know of. The happening at the ALTAvision in Tokyo was really unforgettable. It's such a tragedy that we're losing him. I'm glad that he's staying true to himself and not comprimising on that though. It seems that he just isn't the kind of person fit to be a corporate vtuber in the end... I wonder if the sadness will just hit me like a ton of bricks after the date of his retirement and he's truly gone.
I'm going to miss him... Mayuzumi... I hope he continues to enjoy the freedom he's gained even after we can no longer meet him.